Since I can't get enough televised stupidity, I watch a lot of cable news. I like to understand how people could be so wrong about virtually everything, I try to consume as much MSNBC and Fox News as I possibly can.I do have to say that Fox has an edge in so far as it has really hot chicks being moronic, which is always a plus for me. If Rupert Murdoch could throw O'Reilly and Sean Hannity into a volcano and fill their time slots with Megyn Kelly bouncing on a trampoline in a bikini while playing "journalism," I might never leave my television again.
But if you're looking for a perfectly weaponized form of stupid, you really can't go wrong with MSNBC's David Shuster. His arrogance compliments his ignorance perfectly, making him the ideal of cable news. The guy is such a tool that I have a hard time believing that he didn't study in a douchebag finishing school somewhere. And remember, this guy works in journalism, where unwarranted self-importance is the norm.
The thing about Dave is that he never has been able to meet the already abysmal moral and intellectual standards of cable news and when he tries to, he blows everybody in his path up. It's a truly beautiful thing to behold.
First he said that Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign was "pimping Chelsea out," earning him a stern rebuke and a suspension. Then he went on Twitter to antagonize the ACORN-pimp guy, saying that he was guilty of multiple felonies and would most likely be going to federal prison. Even though that's probably true (because I just automatically assume that everybody associated with Andrew Brietbart is guilty of something,) it's sort of unbecoming, coming as it did from a supposed "impartial observer" who was actually covering the fucking story at the time.
This guy has made making looking himself look like an idiot so much more than an occupation, it's a mission from god. I couldn't be more certain that the template he created will be studied in journalism schools for centuries to come. Davd Shuster is almost exactly what Glenn Beck wants to be when he grows up.
I swore to myself years ago that I would never be surprised by Shuster's ability to bring the dumb. He does it so frequently that it's almost expected at the point.
Remind me never to make promises like that to myself again, okay? Shuster did something so magnificently stupid last week that I'll probably remain in awe of it for the rest of my life.
David Shuster may be about to find out what "punished appropriately" feels like.Ummm, it is generally accepted in the TV business that one does not film pilots for one network while under contract to another. That's sort of elementary. As a matter of fact, most TV contracts have a clause precluding the talent from even talking to other networks for the term of their contract. That's why it took David Letterman so long to move from NBC to CBS in the early 90s.
When news broke that the MSNBC anchor had filmed a CNN pilot, the network did not immediately comment; spokesman Jeremy Gaines would later say that, if the report turned out to be true, Shuster would be "punished appropriately."
After not appearing on-air Friday, Shuster may be off-air indefinitely, according to TVNewser's Gail Shister.
Shister reports that MSNBC President Phil Griffin "ripped Shuster a new one over the phone" and that "a repeat performance is expected [Monday] in the office." She adds that Shuster will not appear on-air Monday and may not appear on the network again. His contract reportedly expires this year.
What amazes me is that CNN would be so gung-ho to talk to a guy so willing to violate his existing contract. What if they hired Shuster, only to find out that he was moonlighting by filming pilots for al-Jazeera? Granted, CNN's so desperate that they can't really afford to be smart. I'm assuming that's why they've keep Larry King on televised life-support so far past his "best before" date.
However, Shuster has not only put himself in a position where he can be shitcanned ... He can be sued out of existence, too. The last thing MSNBC needs is new reasons to look worthless and weak. That's why they keep Olbermann around. I'm guessing that Phil Griffin will want to send a very strong message that employees can't just violate their contracts in such a blindingly stupid way.
That's why I expect David Shuster to be living in an empty refrigerator box by the end of the month.
Update: Shuster has been "suspended indefinitely" and is being replaced in the morning by Contessa Brewer, who is more than hot enough to be on Fox News' trampoline of newsy fun.
Story lovingly stolen from PopEater

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